Five ordinary things my kids think are posh – Family life

I’m really proud that my kids are so unassuming. We’ve always lived within our means – which were meagre when I was a full-time blogger – and they seem to have learned from that.

They don’t take much for granted and have never been particularly materialistic. Long may this continue. There’s a strange flipside, however. They seem to think some fairly run-of-the-mill things are ‘posh’.

I assume that they mean ‘different’ but that doesn’t make for good reading. So here are five ordinary things my kids think are posh.

A Thameslink train

We were on our first proper day out in two years and had to take a ridiculous number of trains to get there and back. One of them was a Thameslink offering which had slightly wider aisles and a digital display that actually worked.

All three kids were really impressed. Apparently, this was the epitome of posh. I can think of many, many ways to describe overcrowded public transport but that was a new one on me.

Cornflour

My wife loves baking and recently got a new cookbook full of delicious-looking recipes. Youngest would happily live on sweet things if she could, so was naturally attracted to the cake section. Her reading is coming along brilliantly and she started reeling off the ingredients in the hope that we had them all plus the inkling to make it for her.

“Cornflour… ooh, posh!” she exclaimed. The fact that we didn’t actually have any only served to increase its sought-after status as far as she was concerned.

My old dartboard

I was delighted to discover my battered old dartboard in my parents’ garage recently. It’s at least 30 years old and looks like it too. That didn’t deter me from putting it up in my office, of course.

To do so, I used my swanky stud finder to make sure I wasn’t going into any wires or pipes with my cordless drill. Did the kids think these ‘toys’ were posh? No. The ratty old Nodor Supabull, however, was apparently the last word in luxury. Their approximation of posh is as good as my aim!

Covid tests with pre-filled extraction tubes

This one shows what a low bar the last two years have established for us all. Before free covid testing ended and with restrictions already pretty much non-existent, we regularly ordered test kits while we could. Most were the fiddly ones with the little sachets you have to squeeze into the extraction tubes.

But then we got one with pre-filled extraction tubes. They were thrilled that there was one less step for us to complete on their behalf. This was probably the first time anyone shoving something up their nose was referred to in such reverential terms.

A wooden staircase

There are some staircases that are grand and, indeed, posh. For example, at a blogging event a few years ago, I ascended some crystal-encrusted steps on a moored cruise ship. It was pretty obscene really and I felt very much out of place.

Yesterday, the kids were looking at some pictures of my parents’ house in France. To put things in perspective, it was dilapidated when they bought it. But that didn’t stop the kids from being wowed by its characterful but creaky wooden staircase. That word was bandied about again!

Do your kids have any unusual ways of describing things?